narcolepsy

Another Funny Story

2011-04-17T22:50:00.001-04:00

Okay, I recently started testosterone injections for medical reasons and I do it myself in the outer thigh once a week. For some reason, I have recently been remembering my dreams. I had a dream last week that I was delivering packages to a local resort where American Idol tryouts were going on. I saw Randy and Steven Tyler in the hall of the tryout area and Randy told me J-Lo did not show up. He proceeded to ask me if I would take her place judging for the show. I obliged and they had me sit down between them.

The first person to audition was a funny looking guy. He sang beautifully and Randy and I looked at each other and nodded, approving of this guys voice. After he sung, I thought the show went to a commercial, so I got up and ran out back to call my wife and tell her to watch the show so she can see me on television. When I ran back in, two security guards grabbed me by the shirt collar and dragged me out of the resort hotel. I screamed, pleading with them that I was a judge and I needed to go back in. That is when Steven called me a roaring idiot for walking out during live television broadcast and I yelled, "But we went to commercial!" I was thrown out.

As soon as I was thrown out, my wife woke me and asked why I was talking about a commercial in my sleep. I turned to her and sadly said, " I got fired from American Idol but don't worry, I will find another job." She then said, " Go back to sleep, you dork!" She said, I rolled over and said, " I'm not a stork!"

Hi Friends!

2011-04-17T22:10:00.000-04:00

I have not posted on her for quite a while, so I would like to give you an update. I have not heard anymore news on narcolepsy that can help us but I want you to know to keep your heads help high (on the pillow) and keep smiling (in your dreams). One day, we will have a cure. Until then, live the best waking life you can and fight for your health, your families and for the happiness you deserve. I am here if you need to talk. Michael

Exciting Narcolepsy Breakthrough

2010-02-20T18:48:00.003-05:00

Check out this site!

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/researchers-find-trigger-for-narcolepsy-study-1905426.html

Did You Know

2010-02-19T19:41:00.000-05:00

Did you know that hairspray burns your eyes?
Did you know that answering the iron when the phone rings, can cause lots of pain and scarring?
Did you know sticking a lit cigarette backwards into you mouth can give your lips the appearance of Tweety Birds beak?
Did you know that sleeping on top of your arm will give you the illusion that someone else in in the bed with you when you grab it with the other hand?
Did you know that when I am bored and have nothing else to say, I ramble on like this to entertain myself?
Did you know that I have experienced all of these did you knows?

Just For Laughs

2010-02-16T19:32:00.000-05:00

I thought I would post this embarrassing video of me humiliating myself while my beautiful daughter sings a song.

Come Save Us

2009-11-19T17:36:00.001-05:00

There are many, with bloody, calloused hands,
And there are others, who go against Gods’ commands.
Oh Father, come and save us from above.
Dear God, come save us with your love.

There are earthquakes destroying another’s land;
A one time paradise, now tattered by blowing sand.
Oh Father, send us your white winged doves.
Dear God, come save us with your blood.

A child suffers, at the hands of his father.
A mother starves her young and helpless daughter.
Oh Father, come enslave us with your love.
Dear God, come save us with your love.

There is sickness, where we need life.
We need peace, where there is strife.
Oh Father, come and save us; for you are loved.
Dear God, come save us from this flood.

We are lost and struggling to be found.
We have fallen and cannot get off the ground
Oh Father, send down Angels with their love.
Dear God, we are desperate for your love.

Michael A. Wiggs

My Baby's Song

2009-11-17T16:56:00.002-05:00

She thinks I can pick up mountains

And walk on the deepest of seas

Walk through a column of fire

Handle all problems with ease

My princess says, "Daddy can run fast,

Shoot out the stars in the sky.

Turn off the light on a bright moon,

Make twinkles in my hazel blue eyes"

She tells friends I protect her from monsters

They run when I walk in her room

I can make clouds move with a whisper

Sweep floors without using a broom

My lullabies can't be sung better

By anyone better than me

My kiss on her cheek brings her comfort

My touch helps my baby go to sleep

If only she knew of my weakness

The tears I cried at her birth

The pain I'd feel if I lost her

My life would no longer have worth

My strength is to know that she loves me

Determination when I look in her eyes

Perseverance just to know I'm her daddy

Weakness when she tells me goodbye

By, Michael A. Wiggs

Wish

2009-11-17T16:55:00.001-05:00

I made a wish at early light
that I could get a new red bike
it was my birthday the first of May
my wish came true late in the day

I've been real good at home, in school
I share my float when in the pool
I do my school work, make good grades
Every morning my bed is made.

I hug daddy and match his socks
I always listen when he talks
I help mommy fold the clothes
When I sniffle, I blow my nose.

I say my prayers when I go to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
And when I pray, I make a wish
That God will one day give me a sis.

I'm very patient when I ask
It isn't such an easy task
But when I wait and not complain
I know the wish I soon will gain.
Michael Wiggs

Missing You

2009-11-17T16:54:00.000-05:00

I never realized my love for you until that lonely night,
I laid there waiting in our bed to hear you say goodnight.
I waited unwearyingly into the eve to hear your soothing voice.
Worked hard to halt the loneliness; but my heart gave me no choice.

Missing you is like a dream one desperately abhors,
I'm wishing, yearning, wanting you to walk in through these doors.
My love for you was realized the moment you left my sight.
Tonight I pray you will be safe and God will heed my plight.

When you come back into my arms, I'll cherish your soft touch.
Bestow to you my love for you and attest to you how much.
I want to shout unto the world, profess to all my love,
For a girl who healed my heart, she is a gift from God above.

You humble me when you are near, your patience overflows.
You smother me with thoughtfulness; my love for you just grows.
You are the crutch I hold so dear, you will not let me down.
I once was lost but thanks to you Gina Maria Ortenzio, I finally have been found.
Michael Wiggs

Our Christ Crucified

2009-11-17T16:53:00.000-05:00

He lay on the cross with arms spread
And hands nailed. His head dropped
With Inability to hold it up on his own.
With thorns surrounding his skull, only he
Could describe the agony for which his
Temple was suffering. A spike was violently
Forged through those feet of many traveled miles.
With no strength to hold up his frame to cease the
Tearing of his muscles, he suffered as he watched
The ascent of the sun and it's rapid descent to
Night. His side was savagely pierced to cease the
Rhythm of his sacrificial heart. Our Christ
Suffered for our iniquities, not his. Such love he has
For the children of God. Jesus endured such torment
To cleanse our hearts. Isn't this reason enough to make
A simple sacrifice to live heavenly for our Lord?

By, Michael A. Wiggs

My Love

2009-11-17T16:52:00.001-05:00

She stands beyond my shadow, smothering me with her overwhelming passion.
I quiver with subtle stir by those eyes of passionate beauty.
I close my eyes as she reaches for my cheek, overwhelming my temple with climactic sensual vigor.
Sweat begins running down my brow as she teases my lips with hers.
Such sweet serenity flows through me as she caresses my wet skin, her touch so vividly desired.
If only she knew the love I feel for her, love equivalent to that of ten thousand men.
My chest pulsates intently just by the thought of her elegant beauty.
Her presence brings peace to my tempestuous realities.
Her feminine maternal instincts,they comfort me. Her devotional love has conquered my faithless nature and has made me an unfeigned man of God.
Michael A. Wiggs

Life

2009-11-17T16:51:00.000-05:00

Life is as a feather wandering aimlessly in a ruthless stream guided only by obstacles it makes contact with. At times, it floats serenely, taking in the beauty of all of God's creation, while others times, struggling to keep afloat in this hectic, unforgiving world.
Michael A.Wiggs

My Lost Valentine

2009-11-17T16:50:00.000-05:00

She walked along the river’s delta, looking out to the sea, wondering why his life was taken in the war fought overseas.
Tommy cries and prays for daddy, wishing he’d come home to play.
Betty drew a pretty picture of a sunny, pretty day.
Mama cries and asks for guidance on how they should be told, that their daddy will come home, but beneath the flag of the bold.
A soldier fought and gave it all, so we can all be free.
The sacrifice his family made, was made for you and me.
Salute his children when you walk by, and pray they’ll understand, that he made the ultimate sacrifice, on someone else's land.
Now Tommy is grown up now, he serves his country proud.
Betty takes up for his children, while he fights beneath the clouds.
She walked along the river’s delta Looking out into the sea.
Wondering why her sons life was taken In the war fought overseas.

Michael A. Wiggs

Soldier

2009-11-17T16:49:00.001-05:00

Enslaved

2009-11-17T16:44:00.000-05:00

Zareb drags a stick along the shore,
Pursuing crabs and fish
A little boy so blithe and free
Doing as he wished.

Along the scope and drawing near
A ship comes to and fro
He runs along to warn the tribe
And let his parents know.

Men clutch their spears and prepare for war
The ghosts are near the shore
They’ve come to steal our liberty
Under the guise they’re here to explore.

Inside the jungle are other tribes
They trade slaves for cloth and gold
To be taken to a foreign land
Greased up and bought and sold.

Zareb hid deeply in the bush
He saw his parents caught
They were shackled to a heavy chain
A rusted iron wrought.

He couldn’t let his parents leave
Without their only son
He charged the ship and screamed for them
But was ceased and beat, then shunned.

He charged again but was slammed to the ground
His breath knocked from his guts
Zereb gazed up, with so much rage
Filled sand within his clutch.

He cast the sand upon the eyes
Of the wicked, white skinned man
Ran up the plank to mom and dad
And grabbed his mother’s hand.

The captain waved to let him on
And said, “He’ll be sold at cost.”
Zareb wrapped himself among the chains
In fear that he’d be tossed.

The captain stopped and scratched his head
He just couldn’t understand
Why a child would risk his life
To be enslaved like mom and dad.

His heart was struck by a jolting bolt
That shot from air to sea,
This little boy saved all enslaved
For the captain had set them free.

Don’t ignore the calls from God
He sometimes works through man.
Zareb the little enslaved boy
Was a tool of dear God’s hand.

Michael A. Wiggs

Fear

2009-11-16T01:03:00.001-05:00

Our Father speaks against fear over and over throughout the word. Fear not the evil which surrounds us; for He is always here to protect us from defeat. The only fear we shall preserve, is the fear we have of our Father. This fear, my friends, is knowing that He can destroy all which he has created in the blink of an eye. If we live as God has commanded, all will be good. Michael A. Wiggs

I Saw the Light

2009-11-16T00:15:00.000-05:00

My heart beat silenced and mine eyes closed to blindness; my reality flashed quickly before my eyes. Images of past experiences, good and bad, read like chapters from a book. Soon after, the darkness brought pain though my naval, and it spread like wildfire throughout my temple. I began praying to our Father, begging for His grace; hoping He would hear my cry. Suddenly, an overwhelming coldness entered through my naval and swiftly smothered those flames. Along with the peaceful, healing breeze, came a light. It shone as a pin prick and became larger and larger until it smothered me in all its glory. I stopped praying and it spoke to me without words, but with emotions. It said, “You are forgiven! Now go home and tell your story. Lead others to the truth that I am real. Just plant a seed and I will take over, my son.”
Michael A. Wiggs

Victory

2009-11-16T00:14:00.000-05:00

So poignant are the times we now live in. The poverty and violence among nations is killing the children of God. Our flesh is failing us and we need to rise against this malevolence in the name of God. For it was His will to grant us a will of our own. We need to rise, fight and defeat these iniquities in His name. For He is good and victory will fill our spirits.

The Storms

2009-11-16T00:13:00.001-05:00

When turbulent storms arise in the valley of darkness, and the raging river of fear overwhelms you; reach for the heavens and know that God will calm those waters. Know with all your very being that He is real and His radiance will light your way.
Michael A. Wiggs

Grace

2009-11-16T00:12:00.000-05:00

Let your sack be filled with all God’s glorious offerings; His knowledge, grace and love will weigh you down. Fill it with faith, truth and all knowing, that His Son has risen to bring us back to grace. Dance in His glory, fall to your knees in His presence; raise your hands in worship and know that He was the One who carried us.

Michael A. Wiggs

Stopping By

2009-10-20T21:23:00.001-04:00

It's been quite a while since I have posted, so I wanted to stop by and say hello and I have not forgotten about you guys. Unfortunately, I have been sleeping many hours a day now, after work, and haven't really had anything to say other than,"Man, what time is it?" Will post soon.

Narcolepsy and Bodybuilding

2009-07-23T16:31:00.003-04:00

Well Folks, I am seriously thinking about going into an amateur bodybuilding competition next year. I plan on doing this for two reasons. The first reason is for my overall health. As much as we sleep, we need to keep our hearts strong and working out will do just that.

The second reason for doing this is to show those with disabilities that we can still persevere with health problems. I spend so much time preaching the power of positivity and arguing with those who always say,"You don't understand, life is hell, I sleep all the time and I cannot do anything!" They have time to push buttons on the computer, but no time to spend 30 minutes exercising.

Listen, I spend a majority of my day sleeping. I still find time to spend with my kids, go to the gym and work part-time. No excuses folks! I am going to prove that even a narcoleptic can look, feel and persevere as well as those who have no health issues.

Give me time a I will prove that a sleeping giant can overcome!!! Alright, I got a little excited, I am more like a sleeping little muscle man...

Denna Posted This

2009-07-22T21:28:00.002-04:00

"I also have "The Secret for Contentment" as written by the Apostle Paul, (Philippians 4:12-13)I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. (13) I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Denna

Since I am not able to reply directly to Denna, I would like to publicly thank her for her comment to me above. I want you to know that your comment and scripture has watered the seedling I hold in my heart, the seedling of hope and faith. It was a scripture I have never read, but am grateful to have it brought to my attention. Thank you Denna!!! Michael

Dangers of Narcoleptic Drugs

2009-07-20T20:11:00.003-04:00

Be very careful when taking nervous system depressants and prescribed stimulants since both can cause death. I have included the link below to help you understand the dangers published by TransWorldNews.com.

http://www.transworldnews.com/NewsStory.aspx?id=103471&cat=10

The Lord's Follower

2009-07-15T20:56:00.000-04:00

Sun sets to blindness,
For no dubious can be seen, but by the bird of night.
Break free, break free if ye can.
Knelt behind this stone, I am concealed
from the savage of shining silver, my Lord.
Lift thy head and show me thy sight.
Haste from that timber before me, for the savage are weary.
I have come with bread and water for ye,my Lord.
Do not empty thy lungs of Holy breath.
Ye are my Lord,my Savior!I believe!I so believe!
Do not give thy life for me, for I am a sinner,my Lord.
My place is up there on that cross where ye now suffer.
Take my life so yours may be forgiven.
For I have not followed the path of righteousness.

Michael A. Wiggs

I wrote this poem close to twenty years ago but wanted to share it with you. There is a purpose for this poem and that purpose is to teach selflessness. When the little boy watched Jesus being crucified on the cross, he begged Jesus to come down and allow him to take his place. Christ selflessly gave his own life to save ours. He died for the iniquities we have all created in our own lives.
I imagined myself as this young boy who desperately wanted to take the place of Jesus because of his love for our Savior. We all need to spend more time thinking about others and less on ourselves. By doing so, I believe it can bring healing in our own lives.

Positivity Explained

2009-07-15T20:14:00.000-04:00

Many years ago, I learned that the human brain can be programmed to run on two types of thoughts, negative and positive. Although we cannot see emotions and thoughts with our eyes, they are tangible. All thoughts have an electrical impulse to them, so technically, they can be harnessed.

The two types I want to talk about are (-)negative and (+)positive thought processes. Each are powerful in their own way. I want you imagine negative thoughts as black marbles, positive thoughts as white marbles and the brain a clear glass vase. For every negative thought you have, imagine dropping a (-) black marble into the vase. If your thoughts consist of negative images such as anger, fear, sadness or insecurity, the vase will become filled quite quickly.

Now imagine hearing a good joke that makes you laugh, being complimented or thinking about positive circumstances. You will then begin filling the vase with (+)positive white marbles. On an average day, we all have so many negative thoughts that they overwhelm the positive. If you look through the clear glass vase, the black(-) marbles will be so numerous that the white(+)marbles cannot communicate with each other. The black marbles are keeping the white marbles separated to the point where they cannot produce electrical current for communication.

If you make it a goal to think, speak, and feel positive on a daily basis, these white positive marbles will eventually overwhelm the black negative marbles to the point where the negative can no longer communicate with each other and the positive marbles will be more powerful to overcome the negative.

Even if you are not happy at the moment and someone asks how you are, tell them you are doing fine and smile at them. The simple action of smiling will release feel good endorphins and change your mind in a positive way. I know this is true because it pulled me out of the manic depression I was diagnosed with in my teens. Don't get me wrong, I still struggle with circumstantial depression on occasion, but I finally live with hope. Back then, I had absolutely no hope.

Please my friends, if you can have one thing in your life, live with hope. Hope will help us overcome our disabilities and float gracefully like an elm leaf on life's raging river.

Don't Fear or Feel Down on Yourself

2009-07-14T16:26:00.000-04:00

We all tend to get a little down at one time or another and this is a normal part of life. In fact, it is a normal emotion for all human beings. I have been as positive as I can on most days, but there are times when I fell a little down about certain circumstances in my life. Other times, I worry about the possibility that my job may terminate me due to my condition.

Well first of all, my employer has no reason to terminate me, because I have had a perfect driving record for twenty-three years. It is believed that I have suffered with narcolepsy for at least fifteen years too. I was also recently invited to compete in a National Truck Driving Competition for being on of the safest drivers in my company. So my chance of having an accident is no worse than someone suffering with high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease or any other medical condition.

I feel down when I want to stay up and play along with my daughter, but I know I have to take a nap, just so I can live a fairly normal life. I also get depressed when I awake knowing that I just wasted five hours of the day in a snoring slumber when I could have been doing something proactive.

Well friends, I am not going to sugar coat anything and say I am always happy because I am not. It is alright to get down at times. It is alright to cry because you despise being stuck in a body that won't let you live. It is alright to get angry when you wake up and realize you are late to work. It is perfectly acceptable to get frustrated with yourself when you slur or forget words.

What is not alright is to dwell on these issues. Take a few minutes to vent, cry, scream or whatever you need to do to release this tension, but only for a few minutes. After those minutes, stop what you are experiencing, and make a conscientious decision to get over it. We cannot control what is happening to our bodies, so we have to accept it. Let go of that need for control and your life will be a little more happy.

Fear not! For fear is the cause of all weakness. Take charge of that which you can control. By doing so, strength and courage will take hold and lead you to contentment.

Sleepy Week

2009-06-28T20:09:00.000-04:00

Wow! This week turned out to be very stressful for me and I made many mistakes while at work. It could be because I doubled the dose of Prozac and my brain went off key. I decided to lower the dose back to 20 mg. to see if my energy levels would rise. I became very confused and would forget what I was doing one minute after I began a task. The last four days, my naps lasted between 4-7 hours. Let's hope I get back to my normal routine. Take care friends.

Prozac Dose No Longer Working

2009-06-16T13:46:00.000-04:00

I began having slight symptoms of cataplexy the last year. I was having problems with speech, such as stuttering, pauses in mid sentence, tongue paralysis and severe sleep attacks while at rest. My doctor and I decided to experiment with Prozac to see if it would help with the symptoms. It took about thirty days, but 20mg. worked for me, and all symptoms completely disappeared.

Unfortunately, after four months, these symptoms have reappeared. I believe my body has adjusted to the dose and it needs to be raised. I called Dr. Blackwell today and asked if it would be alright to up the dose to 20mg. twice a day. I felt like a new person for three of those months but it appears I am falling back into that dreaded zone. I will give you an update on a later date to see if he recommends the new dose and whether or not it helps.

*UPDATE*

My doctors office called and approved raising the daily dose of Prozac to 40mg. I am extremely happy and hope it will do what it was doing before.

Paigeys Mom

2009-06-15T20:20:00.000-04:00

I received an email from Paigeys Mom today, so I wanted to write a public message to her in hope that it will help others too. Unfortunately, doctors are not taught to have compassion. They are trained to run tests to figure out what is making us ill. I believe some doctors are born compassionate people, while others are not. I have been very fortunate to have a wonderful doctor who cares for his patients. Dr. Bruce Blackwell is not afraid to run the necessary tests to get answers efficiently. If you live in Orlando Florida, I highly recommend Dr. Blackwell. He is a family practice doctor, not a sleep disorders doctor.

Paigeys mom is going to make it through this situation because she has hope. She understands that there is nothing we can do about our condition and that nobody else will even begin to comprehend the fatigue, memory lapses, speech issues or paralysis we experience on a daily basis. Her comments to me shows her desperation and despair, but her hope shines through. She will be one more who will overcome.

I highly recommend counseling if you can afford it. It will teach you coping skills and help give you peace. Remember folks, we all have a horrific condition that eats away at our lives, but we are alive and we can still live life to its fullest with little naps in between. In my case, three hour naps. lol......

Other Narcolepsy Blogger

2009-06-12T16:10:00.000-04:00

I was sent a couple emails from a gentleman named Mr. Main who also suffers with narcolepsy. His blogs are very interesting and informative. I'd hate to admit it, but he appears much more intelligent than I am too. I will give you the link at the end of this blog.

Michael wrote an awesome statement in one of his blogs, "An adventure in discovering who I am, particularly as I learn to live with my friend, narcolepsy. While the disease has drastically impacted my life, this blog will also reflect the many things I do and love that narcolepsy won't and can't take away." I too, have stated this over and over on many sites, although it was in a less intellectual way. He is completely accurate and we should all think in this manner. He admits to his insecurities and weaknesses, but WILL NOT allow this disease take him down.

We all have those days where we get depressed or angry having to live with narcolepsy, but we cannot succumb to its frustrating symptoms. Don't just exist, survive and live life to its fullest. Stop feeling sorry for yourself each and every day. It is alright to bask in the sadness, but only for a moment. Work diligently to be happy and focus on the good things in your life.

Check out Michael Main's site, it can be found here...

http://www.narcolepticknights.blogspot.com/

The Power of Positivity

2009-06-08T14:31:00.000-04:00

Being diagnosed with narcolepsy or any other condition can be an extremely stressful situation and can take a toll on your health. I have dealt with the stress for quite a few years now, wondering if I will eventually lose my job due to narcolepsy. More, I get down knowing that I have the opportunity to make more than double my income at my current job, but narcolepsy will not allow it. I'm sure you feel the same as I do at times, so I'm writing this to help you live with a little more happiness.

The are some who will not use these tools to get happier, because they thrive by getting the attention. The problem is that they are unknowingly feeding negative energy to their family and friends. This can take a toll on their relationships too. Have you ever been around someone who complains daily about everything? It brings you down too, doesn't it? This leads me to the first tool.

Our loved ones know how we feel because we either look tired, fall asleep or complain about being exhausted. The first step to leading a happier life is to stop talking so much about your condition to your loved ones and friends. I would recommend joining an online support group like Narcolepsy Network or find a local support group in your area. Nobody will understand how we feel, other than others diagnosed with this condition. Discussing your condition with family and friends on a frequent basis, will cause them to either avoid you in the near future, or they can get depressed too.

Negative energy is so strong, one can feel it when walking into a room after two people have been arguing. Understand that it is alright to be upset about the situation, but do not dwell on it every minute of the day, and don't make your family and friends live the sadness you are going through. Trust me, narcolepsy causes enough stress to our loved ones because they have to live with our mood swings, sleep attacks, slurred speech, forgetfulness etc...

Another tool I feel is very important is smiling and saying hello to others you come across when you are out in public. Believe it or not, smiling when you are not so happy will trick your mind into thinking you are happy. It will cause your mood to change quite drastically. Smiling even attracts others to you. Who wants to be around someone who looks angry all the time?
Smiling is very contagious and it will relieve stress, not only for you, but for others around you.

In 2003, while working as a lodging host at a local Orlando resort, I walked by an elderly African American woman who was sitting on a bench, waiting for her bus to take her to one of the local theme parks. She wore a pretty, flowered, red dress and a straw hat with a large brim. On the hat was a red flower she had picked from somewhere on property. When I walked past her the first time, I looked her in the eyes and smiled. She smiled back with a sincere, gentle smirk. As I walked by her again, I complimented on how pretty her flower was. She said, "Thank You, dear!" As I walked by her again a short time later, I looked her in the eyes again and smiled at her. She said,"What is your name, young man?" I covered my badge and said, "Why, did I do something wrong? She replied, "No, you did something right. You looked at my eyes letting me know that you were aware I was here, you smiled at me and you made me feel important. I want to tell your managers." I showed her my badge and she stood up and gave me a hug.

Two weeks later, I was called into my managers office and was shown a copy of her letter. She wrote such beautiful things about me. I couldn't believe how a simple smile could make not only myself, but others feel so good. So remember to smile at everyone you come across. I don't care what kind of mood you are in, just do it. I cannot name one person who does not want to be next to someone who is happy and positive about life.

There will be times when we get depressed, more often than not. Don't try to ignore the despair, deal with it. Just make the decision when you want to turn it off. We all need time to cry so we can release stress, just set a time and a day to do it. When troubles come and smother your spirit in sadness, it takes one of four things to fight your way out of it on any given day.

The first and most important is turning to God and asking him to help you. When I pray, I don't ask, I affirm. For example, I would say, "Dear God, sadness has overtaken my spirit and body and I cannot fight it without your help. I trust at this moment, that you will remove it from me now. Thank you Father." By praying this way, you are telling and proving your trust and faith in him. I believe that when we ask for help without complete and utter faith, we may not get his assistance when we feel we need it. Notice how I stated, "when we feel we need it." I say this because God will not allow more stress and despair than we can physically handle.

The second way to happiness is thinking positive and concentrating on what you do have. You have life! What is more beautiful than that? Most of us have family who love us so much and friends who would do anything for us. You have shelter, food, and other important resources to sustain life. You do not have terminal cancer or any other fatal condition, you have narcolepsy. No, I am not trying to minimize this disease because it is serious, it does not allow us to live life to its fullest and our children have to suffer as well. They need undivided attention at all times but our daily need for sleep prevents us from being there for our kids as much as they need it. You can start your day by saying," Today is going to be a great day."

Laughing is another important subject when it comes to narcolepsy. Some of us cannot laugh that hard due to the effects of cataplexy. If you are on medication to help minimize the cataplexy, I recommend you to make it a habit to look for things that are funny. I find something funny everyday of my life, even if it is something I did myself. Don't be afraid to make others laugh too. This positive energy is good for you physically and psychologically.

The final way to help you defeat the anger and despair caused by narcolepsy is to accept that you have it. A narcoleptic needs to make adjustments to life so they can get the most out of it. For example, I have a great part-time job that pays well, so I work five or six hours per day, come home and take a two hour nap to feed the demon(narcolepsy). When this demon gets his meal, he allows me to carry on so I can pick up my kids from school and spend precious time with them. There are times when he hits me even after a nap, but I have to give in so I can continue living. Life becomes so much easier to deal with when you accept the cards you were dealt.

Hold your head up high, accept your condition, and give it all you have to be happy. Eventually, you will overcome, my friend. Life is a gift, no matter what disabilities we are given. Our job is to bring meaning to life, and learn to love it, through all the trials and tribulations.

Prozac Update

2009-05-31T17:23:00.000-04:00

It appears the low 20mg dose of Prozac has helped me drastically with the attacks. The first two months did cause many nights of insomnia but those have stopped. I forgot to take the Prozac this morning after waking at 7am and fell asleep within an hour. I awoke again to eat breakfast but fell asleep soon after that. It is now 5:20 in the afternoon and have finally risen out of bed. I wonder if skipping the dose caused this extreme sleepiness? I will wait a week and try it again and see if my body reacts the same.

Newer Drug for Narcolepsy

2009-05-21T19:44:00.001-04:00

Armodafinil (Nuvigil) is a different version of Provigil and appears to work better than the previous drug. Cephalon is the maker of this drug. Armodafinil is the active (−)-(R)-enantiomer of Provigil. I do not know if or when it will be given to patients, but it is a positive step in the right direction. You can find the website here:
http://www.docguide.com/news/content.nsf/news/852571020057CCF6852575BD005D2131

No Naps

2009-05-19T18:35:00.000-04:00

Isn't it strange how most days narcoleptics are forced to sleep by their condition, while other days, they can stay awake all day without these fleeting urges to sleep.. Today was one of those days where I did not get that fleeting urge to nap. I was a little sleepy, but not enough to lay down. I will make a bet tomorrow will become a catch up day and I will sleep for 3 hours.

I do not have any other pertinent information about narcolepsy today, but keep checking my blog and I will be sure to relay any new information to you. If you have any new information, please let me know also so I can post it for others to read.

Death

2009-05-15T20:58:00.000-04:00

I went to the wake of a dear friend from work. He finally lost his battle with cancer after eighteen months. His name is William Dontaine and he has finally reach Heaven from his path here on earth. His family appear to be taking the loss of William very well. They are much stronger than what I would be.

My purpose for writing this blog is to express how I see death. I had a tonsillectomy back in the spring of 2002. The doctor told me that there is a possibility of complications but it is very low for adults. Well, I was one of those possibilities. Five days after the procedure, I was not healing properly. I could not eat and had severe problems even trying to drink fluids. My son woke me up in the morning to tell me my daughter, who was nearly three year old was awake and running around.

I got up out of bed and felt extremely weak and dizzy. I walked into the bathroom and noticed a very bad taste in my mouth. I spit into the sink and noticed bright red blood. I went into the kitchen to get ice water to gargle to see if the bleeding would stop. It did not work and I became alarmed. I called my ex-wife and asked her to pick up our children because I needed to go to the hospital. While I was waiting, I fed the kids their breakfast and didn't tell them I was not well.
I suddenly had an urge to vomit, so I ran to the bathroom. I nearly went into shock witnessing how much blood came out of stomach.

When my ex-wife arrived, I loaded the kids into the car and told them I loved them. I then got into my car and drove the 20 miles to my doctors office. Halfway there, I had another urge to get sick. I reached for a 32 ounce Big Gulp cup, pulled over and literally filled it to the top with more blood. I felt myself getting weaker by the moment and I began looking for a payphone on my way to the clinic to call for an ambulance. I finally reached the clinic and rushed in. The receptionist asked what I was in for. I didn't say anything, I just showed her the full cup. She ran out of her office and got the doctor. He looked at me, and told me to quickly go into the room. He asked me to open my mouth and his eyes opened wide. He said,"Mr. Wiggs, you are not bleeding, you are hemorrhaging!" He told the nurse to tell the other doctors to stop their surgeries and get in to help.

While I was waiting, I began sweating profusely and felt like I was passing out. I told the doctor that I was going out. The next thing I knew, everything went dark. I lost consciousness but was still able to think. I began feeling a severe burning sensation in my navel and it quickly spread throughout my body. I began praying and asking God to not allow me to die. I told him that my children needed me and I wanted to live. My praying started hopping from God to Jesus and I actually said,'Whichever one of you is listening." Suddenly, I saw an indescribable tiny, bright light emit from the darkness. It quickly grew larger and larger until it completely smothered me. The burning sensation completely dispersed away from my body at the same time.

I will swear up and down for the rest of my life that this was God. His Almighty Presence covered me and I have never felt so much joy, peace ,love, comfort, and absolutely no stress on my body.
Although, the Lord did not speak to me, he did not have to. His presence communicated with me by his actions and the feeling he shown to me.

I saw the tunnel and beings standing on either side of me. They were all smiling and staring at me. I kept praying that my children need me and that I was not ready. A short time later, I felt this rush, a feeling that my spirit was shot back into my body at the speed of light. I began hearing again and heard the nurse say, "I still do not have a pulse!" The doctor said,"He's alright, the monitor is showing a heartbeat, give him more oxygen." They began calling my name and slapping me. I finally opened my eyes and saw many doctors and nurses standing around me. I knew at that moment that I was in bad shape and what I just saw was not a dream.

This is the purpose of this blog. I want you all to know that whether you believe in God or not, I am here to tell you that he is real. I know where my friend Will is because he was a God loving, God fearing man. I know he is in a loving, accepting, eternal place. Will was a deacon at his church and he walked the path the best he can. He was a humble man who loved God, his family and life. This is why I am not sad for Will. I know where he went and life is fleeting. We will all meet again, sometime, someplace.

I will close with a short poem I wrote after my father passed in 1989...

You shouldn't cry because of death
We don't die, our souls just rest.
The body is the shell of our souls,
A shield of life that makes us bold.

Napping and Time

2009-05-15T14:39:00.000-04:00

What is really strange about our condition is the fact that we can take a short nap and it feels like a long one. It just happened to me today. I put myself down for a nap and quickly fell asleep. After only 7 minutes, I was awakened for some reason. When I realized it was only 7 minutes, I went back to sleep and woke again 9 minutes later. I became frustrated and got up out of bed. Time can be our friend, while other times, our enemy. Physically, it seemed to like I slept a long time because of that groggy feeling we get when we over sleep. Let's just hope that narcolepsy will soon be better understood in the near future so it can be cured.

More importantly, with the recent findings that shows narcolepsy is an autoimmune condition, I hope this will first lead to a cure for other more serious conditions. Multiple Sclerosis, Diabetes, and Lupus are those diseases that can be more serious and fatal if not treated properly. I would love to be cured as soon as possible, but my selflessness would rather see others with more serious conditions healed first. Narcolepsy is a dreadful condition but I can live with patience and hope that it will one day be cured, so I can live a richer life with my family.

Confusion

2009-05-13T20:55:00.000-04:00

After coming home from work this morning, I decided to lay down for a very short 2 hour nap. As usual, I fell quickly into a deep dream state. I always set the alarm on my cell phone to wake me when I need to. After two hours, the alarm went off. I was still very tired, so I pressed the snooze button. What seemed to be twenty seconds later, it went off again...then again...and again.

Knowing I had to pick up my daughter from school at 2pm, I opened one eye and saw it was 1pm. For some strange reason, I thought I was late to pick up my daughter. I quickly sat up, clumsily stood and hurried toward my bedroom to get my keys. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to walk straight and my left shoulder slammed into the doorway. I flung around, stepped on my dogs chew toy, lost my balance fell onto the corner of my bed and rolled onto the floor.

As I lay on the floor, holding my shoulder, I turned my head and looked at the alarm clock on the stand. It showed 1:18pm and that is when I realized I needed to be at her school at 2pm. Not only was I in a little pain, I began giggling when I saw my tiny dog, trying to chew on my left foot. She thought I intentionally went down to play with her.

There truly are benefits of being narcoleptic, although they can be somewhat embarrassing at times. We frequently awake with confusion, occasionally run into things around the house, fall down and get playfully attacked by our animals. I wouldn't miss that for the world...Or would I?

Waking

2009-05-12T17:06:00.001-04:00

I was just awakened by thunder after a non-refreshing two and a half hour nap. The room is dimly lit by the dark rolling rain clouds above my home. I have come to realize that we undeniably sleep our life away. When my eyes were open, the sun shone brightly today. Sometime, like a thief in the night, narcolepsy swept me off my feet, sealed my eyes closed, and rushed me off to sleep to steal part of my day. It was only for a moment that my dreams carried me to another dimension of my life.

Some days they are welcomed by the happiness and love they exude, like the days I flap my arms and fly aimlessly across the skies. I can swoop down and pull the hat off a pedestrians head and place it on the green parking meter seven step beyond his feet. But then, there are other dreams, those where I am attacked by a dark creature and I am defenseless because my body will not cooperate when I awaken. I open my eyes, hoping that it had left with my dreams, but to no avail...It is still in my bedroom, standing at my bed, clawing viciously at my throat.

If only for a moment, can I awaken to face a whole day. A day where sleep does not overwhelm me. A day where I can drive to the beach, and watch the seagulls hover over the crashing waves. I want to be able to close my eyes for only a moment, and not worry about sleep rushing in. One day, I know this dream will come. This is my favorite, most memorable dream. It is a dream of hope. Michael A. Wiggs

Narcolepticized

2009-05-11T20:22:00.000-04:00

Let's have some fun with our dreaded condition. I am about to tell you some silly but true stories and I am sure I may get a giggle out of you. If not, you can go to hell!! Just kidding.

The first story was the day I stopped at a Burger King to have lunch. I sat there eating my Whopper Junior, onion rings and side salad topped lots of dressing. It took me only 10 minutes to eat because I like to take a short nap before going back to work. While I was sitting there in a full restaurant, during everyone in Orlando's lunch break, I closed my eyes for what I thought was only a moment. I am sure my head was bobbing up and down while I rested my eyes. I was suddenly aroused by some giggling going on around me. So I lifted my head and began looking around. People were laughing at me and was curious as to why. I soon realized it when I felt something in my nostril. I reached up and grabbed for it. The damn straw was stuck in my nose. Although I was humiliated, I looked around wondering what I was going to say. Thank God, he made me spit these words out,"What, you've never see someone drink from a straw with their nose?" Everyone laughed hysterically. I smiled, shook my head, dumped my tray and quickly walked out.

Another incident I had was when I was delivering a package to a residence. It was obvious that the lady had just woke up because her hair looked that of a scarecrow. After she signed for the package and I told her to have a Happy Halloween. Mind you, it was Easter. She actually called my manager to report me. Instead of getting in trouble, they laughed at me and asked me to please think before I speak. I told them that I have a problem with thinking and speaking and this was a perfect example.

No Cure

2009-05-10T16:01:00.001-04:00

There is no cure for narcolepsy, but this condition can be somewhat controlled to allow the individual to live a halfway descent life. If you take a nap on a daily basis, even if it is fifteen minutes, it will make a big difference in your life. Life will never be as normal as others, but rather than narcolepsy having control of you, you will have control if it.

We all go through the dark realm of feeling sorry for ourselves. It is very important to get over the despair and work around the issue of sleep. We do not live in a twenty four hour day, ours is quite shorter. This is a reality we need to face and understand.

We have a condition that requires a schedule, but look at the benefits. Narcolepsy is not a fatal condition in its own right. Without being responsible and doing everything in your power to control it, it can lead to harm. This is why I feel it is important to plan our life around sleep. One day, this condition will be cured. Another benefit, we can sleep no matter what position we are in.

Don't get me wrong here, living with narcolepsy does suck, but it really could be worse. It could be cancer, HIV, ALS, Alzheimer's or numerous other fatal conditions. Narcolepsy is not a death warrant, it is more a life living without an essential body part, such as a leg or an arm. The good news is the fact that we have tools to help us get by.

I went through the phases of denial, anger, sadness, acceptance, all in a period of two years. Now, I have decided to work hard and just accept that I have to walk around the walls that I can no longer climb. Things really could be much worse in our lives.

It is also important to understand that our family and friends will never completely understand our condition. Unless you live with this condition, you will never get a grasp on how we feel. I made a decision to talk very little about narcolepsy. By doing this, all my friends have come back around and they like to hang out again. I can understand why they avoided me in the past. I never threw positive energy back then. I always drowned them in my problems. This negative energy takes a toll on our friends and family. More importantly, it is a poison to us.

There will be some who disagree with some of my beliefs and I completely understand. I just want others to know, although I am a narcoleptic, I will only let it take one part of my life. I will not allow it to take control of every realm of my life. Do not live with narcolepsy, let it live with you.

Driving and Narcolepsy

2009-05-06T20:30:00.000-04:00

I received a letter today from my company of 160.000 employees stating, "A safety report I just reviewed identified you as one of the safest drivers in our company. Your commitment to safety is highly commendable. Congratulations! You are invited to compete in the ATA Truck Driving Championship with the Florida state competition. If you win first place, you will be sent to Pittsburgh, PA at the National Championship."

This folks, is a perfect example that being narcoleptic does not make you a danger to other drivers. We are safer drivers than most because we know when we need to pull over.

Autoimmune Disorder

2009-05-03T21:09:00.000-04:00

Here is a link to a new report I found on narcolepsy....I have been known to frequently kick myself in the arse, but it appears our immune systems have joined in on the fun...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8025662.stm

Followers

2009-05-01T16:32:00.000-04:00

I see I only have four followers....Show your faces!!! You look like quadruplets standing in line for mugshots.....Just kidding.

Prozac

2009-04-28T17:24:00.000-04:00

As some of you know, I requested to be prescribed Prozac to experiment on whether it would help me with some of the symptoms of narcolepsy. It has been nearly two and a half months since I began taking the medication and want to give you an update. I will give you the negative and positive effects of the medication as well.

Let me start with the negative first, so I can get it out of the way. My doctor told me that a potential side effect of Prozac is a less sensitivity during sex. I have had no problems in that department, although my libido did drop drastically. It has since leveled off, but my sexual urges has somewhat dropped. The second issue is insomnia. I have found myself waking frequently at night and sometimes staring at the clock. Believe me, I welcome that because it has not caused any more problems with fatigue during the day.

Now for the benefits of Prozac. The severity of my narcoleptic attacks have dropped drastically. I still have attacks, but very minimal. I can actually concentrate a lot more and my energy levels have risen a little. Don't get me wrong, I still have sleep attacks but I do feel more control now. If you have any sort of obsessive compulsive disorders, I understand it can help you with that too. I would highly recommend asking your doctor if it would be safe to try it, or others that work in the same way. I believe Wellbutrin is another anti-depressant that can help.

I do know that these medications delay REM sleep, and narcoleptics tend to fall immediately into REM when we fall asleep. Somehow, it helps us during the day. Good luck to all and please contact me if you are or will be taking it as well. I would be interested to know how it works for you too. Be patient, since it takes a few weeks to benefit your condition. Michael Wiggs

Thank You

2009-04-17T21:50:00.000-04:00

I would like to thank those who have sent me the nice comments. Hold your heads up high and understand that we are all in the same boat. Please email me if you have questions about narcolepsy, me or anything. I would love to give you facts, opinions or just my views. Trust me, I am sure I will make you giggle with some of my ridiculous answers. I will answer them as a blog. I think it will be fun too.

Appendicitis

2009-04-13T20:01:00.000-04:00

I haven't been on since I had a bout of an inflamed appendix. I went to the emergency room after suffering with severe stomach pain and vomiting. The pain came on suddenly and within 3 hours, I was in the hospital. Within three more hours, I was in surgery. When I feel better, I will post some more. I am still recuperating from this sudden event.

Last Nights Funny Dream

2009-03-11T11:13:00.000-04:00

Alright, I have no idea why this happened, but I surely welcomed it and I wish for many more in the future. I woke myself up last night laughing so loud, I woke my girlfriend up. I could not stop giggling because the dream was so funny and it kept replaying in my mind. My girlfriend asked me if I was alright and I said, "Yes", but I couldn't stop giggling. She asked me what I was laughing at and I told her I was dreaming about my brother falling off a kitchen table. I eventually fell asleep again. Gladly so, it was 1:15 in the morning.

I don't know if it was caused by the Prozac, narcolepsy or just natural causes, but it was the greatest feeling I have felt while sleeping.

Experimenting With New Prescription

2009-03-03T17:29:00.000-05:00

After being diagnosed with narcolepsy, I have experimented with numerous drugs to help fight against my symptoms. There were also numerous that I am not willing to take, such as Xyrem. I understand Xyrem works for many people, but I am not willing to take a drug that is so controlled, that it is tracked from the pharmacy to your hands, all the way through the way the bottle is disposed of. The information on the bottle is to be covered by permanent marker and I have to call the central pharmacy to inform them that the bottle was disposed of properly. This drug is actually a form of GHB, the date rape drug. I feel it is too dangerous for me to take since I have some central sleep apnea as well. The costs are unbelievable too, costing anywhere from $500 to $800 per month. If you want to try it, do so. I hear it works great for multitudes of patients.

Since I have recently been struggling with circumstantial depression, I decided to go back on Prozac. I took Prozac when I was a teenager and it helped with the depression. I decided to Google Prozac with narcolepsy and found some exciting news. It appears that Prozac helps narcoleptics suffering with cataplexy, and may drastically reduce cataplectic attacks when taken below anti-depressive quantities. Somehow, Prozac delays the time a narcoleptic falls into REM and this is exactly what we need. I will keep you updated on how I feel and if it works for me.

Helping Others To Understand

2009-03-02T08:11:00.000-05:00

It gets frustrating when my own family and friends call me while I am taking my daily nap only to hear them say," Are you sleeping? Get up you lazy butt." I wish they knew what it is like to live day by day, being able to do things you want to do, only when there are windows of opportunity. A narcoleptic cannot plan something for a particular time, because he or she may need a nap at that time.

I know they say it because they are uncomfortable with waking me up or possibly just don't want to believe that I have a medical condition. They know I am not lazy because I frequently go to the bike trails and ride for ten miles and I workout in the gym. The only problem I have is the fact that I have to sleep a minimum of two hour per day after I finish work.

Let me explain it like this...When a healthy individual goes to sleep at night, they fall into different stages of sleep until they hit REM sleep stage. This stage typically takes ninety minutes to get to. Because they slowly get to REM, their batteries get a full recharge.

In narcoleptics, we skip the different stages and fall directly in REM. It is my understanding that the brain is nearly as active in REM as it is while you are awake. This is why narcoleptics batteries do not get a full recharge, and they physically and mentally crash on a daily basis. We do go into various sleep stages, but are not in them long enough to get a replenishing sleep. We are a lot like the cell phone you may have had, you have to keep it plugged in because it goes dead in ten minutes.

It needs to be understood that people with narcolepsy are not lazy, they are so completely exhausted all the time because their sleep is so fragmented and never refreshing. There are also a lack of hypocretin cells located in the hypothalamus. These cells control our sleep and wake cycles. Without these cells, our brains tell us to go to sleep at the wrong time. I hope this helps friends and family of narcoleptics understand.

Finding Me on Other Sites

2009-03-01T10:11:00.000-05:00

If you want to get more familiar with me, I can also be found on MySpace at this url.

http://www.myspace.com/malachi007

If you have a MySpace account, feel free to contact me or do a friend request.

Should Narcoleptics Drive?

2009-02-28T15:18:00.000-05:00

Well, I can tell you from experience that those suffering with narcolepsy should still be able to drive as long as they do not suffer with cataplexy too. I have a perfect driving record, no tickets or accidents and I am a professional driver. I have be driving commercially for 20 years now.

I have read numerous posts where people blame their accidents on narcolepsy, and I do not believe narcolepsy is the cause in most cases. It likely has more to do with not paying attention, or not driving defensively. Since I am aware that I have a medical condition and my license depends on me not having an accident, I pay particular attention to what I am doing.

A recent study in Washington DC, studied 500 individuals who were give a medication that produced what was called triple sneezes. Out of the 500 test subjects, 379 had car accidents due to the sneezing. Allergies along with cellphone use are the top two causes of traffic accidents in the United States.

Some states actually revoke the licenses of those diagnosed with narcolepsy. Those who suffer with high blood pressure, diabetes, or heart disease can all continue to drive and this is not fair. I know when I am tired and I just will not drive. There is not one place in the world that is so important, that I have to get into my car when sleepy and drive. I am not willing to put my children, myself or others in danger by getting on the road.

If a narcoleptic suffers with narcolepsy with cataplexy, then this is a different story. The sufferer should not drive because all it takes is for him/her to get excited, angry, or laugh and he/she can lose all muscle control and appear to be passed out. Not a good scenario is it?

So now you have my answer...

Narcolepsy

2009-02-04T19:56:00.000-05:00

I am writing this blog to help others understand what it is like to live as a narcoleptic. I am fortunate enough being diagnosed with narcolepsy without cataplexy. Up to eighty percent of those diagnosed, will end up with cataplexy. I will explain what cataplexy is later on in this blog, but let me explain what narcolepsy is first.

Narcolepsy is a condition where the patient has uncontrollable, fleeting urges to sleep no matter how much sleep the patient is getting. A daytime sleep study is facilitated where wires are connected from head to toe to record how long it takes to fall asleep, and whether the patient falls immediately into REM sleep. REM stands for rapid eye movement or dream state.

In my case, from the moment I closed my eyes, it took less than three minutes to fall asleep and I went immediately into REM. The tech awoke me four times, and I fell asleep each time thereafter within three minutes. For the average person, it should take around ninety minutes to go from stages 1,2,3,4 and then into REM. When the tech woke me up, she asked me one question each time, "Did you fall asleep?" My answer was "no" each time. It was frightening to learn that although I thought I was awake, I was actually sleeping. I even told the tech about a conversation she had with another tech. I learned that this was what is called a waking dream state. A waking dream state is when a narcoleptic is dreaming and awaking at the same time. This is usually the time where the patient becomes paralyzed for a few minutes at waking and can also have hallucinations.

Cataplexy is another symptom of narcolepsy where strong emotions such as laughter, anger or fear can cause one's muscles to completely relax and they will collapse to the floor. Although he/she appears to be sleeping, the person can hear everything that is going on around them. This is extremely frightening because the narcoleptic wants to tell others they are alright, but they cannot. Let's just hope that this symptom is held at bay. If not, I will absolutely have to go on disability. I am doing everything in my power to stay employed. I was raised by an extremely strong, hard working mother who never received assistance from the government and I plan to live as she has.

I want you to understand that narcolepsy is not contagious. It is a neurological condition that roots from the very center of the brain. This area is called the hypothalamus. The hypothalamus controls numerous metabolic processes in the body, including hormones, hunger, thirst and sleep. Within the hypothalamus, there are cells called hypocretin or orexin cells. These cells control the wake and sleep cycle. In narcoleptics, these cells are missing or drastically diminished. It is believed that narcolepsy may be caused by an autoimmune disorder where the body sees those particular cells as invaders and the immune system kills them off.

Living with narcolepsy can be very disabling but not fatal. Fatalities are due to the patient falling asleep while driving or falling down due to cataplexy. Although I have a disability, I will not allow it to take over my life. Don't get me wrong, I am not superman, but I have worked diligently to accept that I have limitations. Unfortunately, I cannot take Ritalin or any other amphetamine due to another condition called supra ventricular tachycardia. Tachycardia is is when a persons heart has a short circuit and beats extremely fast. In my case, when the paramedics arrived at my home in late 2004, my heart rate was 246 beats per minute. This has been under control for the last five years by taking medication prescribed for me.

I have been able to control my sleep attacks to a point by taking a daily nap. If I do not take a nap, I struggle to stay awake, lose my speech and I get extremely moody. At times, during an attack, I laugh at myself because I say things that make no sense. The other day, I asked my daughter, "Could you pease turn on da air-bur-nition-der"? I meant to say (air-conditioner). I do not know why my ability to communicate diminishes when I have a narcoleptic attack, but I can tell you most of the time, it is pretty funny. I do get angry and frustrated at times, especially when I am at a public place trying to communicate with a stranger. Sometimes, I speak with a pause between every couple words. This is caused because I cannot say the word I am wanting to say. I know what the word is but it will not roll off my tongue.

Let me tell you one of the funniest things I have done so far. In November of 2008, I was awakened early in the morning. I looked at the clock and thought I was late to work. I quickly jumped out of bed, took a quick shower and rushed to get ready. I was in such a hurry that I forgot to take my heart meds. I was cursing myself all the way to work and negative thoughts were flowing through my mind, wondering if I will lose my job for being tardy.

After about an eighteen minute drive, I pulled into the security gate and noticed that the parking lot was empty. It was still very dark, clear skies with millions of stars above. I thought,"these idiots are playing a prank on me." I drove around the building and realized something was wrong. I opened my cell phone and looked at the time. It was 1:14am! I thought my phone time was incorrect, so I drove about 10 minutes to a local bank that had a large flashing sign that showed the time. The sign was not working, so I began traveling back in the direction of my home. I pulled over and contemplated on driving back to work since my mind frequently plays tricks on me.

I looked across the street and saw a deputy sheriff sitting in his patrol car. I drove across the street and stepped out of my car, waving my hands like an idiot. I was afraid he was going to shoot me if I approached his patrol car. I asked him if he had the time and he looked at me like I was crazy. After what seemed like a five minute stare, he looked at his watch and said,"It is one thirty-four, why?" I was so embarrassed to tell him that I was four hours early for work. Four whole hours folks! I told him my clock was wrong in my car and I quickly walked away.

I later learned that this was also a waking dream state. I dreamed that it was around six in the morning, so when I awoke, my eyes were only able to see the time I saw in my sleep. I am one of the lucky ones. Thousands of narcoleptics wake to some horrific nightmares, where they see a person in their room when the awaken. Thank God this has not happened to me.

I want everyone who reads this blog to understand the symptoms of narcolepsy. We are not looking for sympathy, but are asking for understanding. We are not lazy couch potatoes neither. If you want to know what it feels like to be a narcoleptic, I was told by my doctor that a healthy individual will have to stay awake for three days straight to even begin to feel what it's like to have narcolepsy. Narcoleptics have to live like this each and every day of their lives. Some are fortunate to live a fairly active life with the use of amphetimines, but the benefits of these drugs will eventually diminish for a narcoleptic.

I will continue this blog at a later date.